CJ March 31st, 2007
From the Darwin Awards Website
Fix My Truck
James Burns, 34, of Alamo, Michigan, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police described as a “farm-type truck.” Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns’ clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns “wrapped in the drive shaft.”
Repeat Until Lesson Learned
Ignoring Coast Guard warnings, David ventured onto the icy surface of Saginaw Bay with his pickup truck one chilly morning. Predictably, the vehicle broke through the ice, but the 41-year-old managed to avert tragedy and escape from the sinking truck. He reached the shore wet and cold, but alive.
Despite his traumatic experience, and despite a day of sunshine and warm temperatures in the 60s, David returned to Saginaw Bay late the following night. This time he was driving an all-terrain vehicle, and accompanied by a friend. Surprise! The ATV also plunged through the ice.
His companion survived, but David had used up his luck. His body was recovered by the Coast Guard southwest of the Channel Islands. An autopsy was scheduled to determine whether anything besides a desire to win a Darwin Award was a factor in his demise.
CJ March 31st, 2007
Mae Laborde has found her true passion in life. Acting!
The 97 year old lady from Santa Monica California started her career when her neighbor, a columnist, wanted some lighthearted tips on driving. (at the time, Mae was still driving)
She was already famous in her neighborhood, hauling ass up and down her neighborhood streets in her 1977 Olds. The neighbors got a kick out of seeing this tiny old woman driving a huge car.
Eventually this led to a meeting with agent Sherrie Spillane and a star was born.
Her cuteness and sweet nature was an instant hit to all who met Mae. Mae has appeared in various venues, such as on MADtv as an old Vanna White, jewelry commercials, life insurance, a cheerleader on ESPN, and even has a movie role coming up opposite of Ben Stiller.
A Girl Scout leader for her daughter’s troop, she has kept in touch with most of her daughter’s friends. Now in their 70s, they’ll ask her for secrets to living a long life. She’ll tell them to never retire.
When she was 89 Laborde took a police training course just for fun, and she still cooks for herself, paints and raises tomatoes in her garden that she sells to a local restaurant.
“I don’t know anyone else her age that could keep up with her,” says Spillane, who has become both her agent and close friend.
“But then I don’t know anyone else her age,” Spillane adds with a laugh.
CJ March 31st, 2007
In Santa Cruz California, a man had been videotaping women’s feet who attended the science library in the University of California. The man was caught red-handed - and red-faced, and asked by the campus police to leave and not return. He complied and offered no resistance.
Since filming feet were so important to this man, he returned soon after to catch some more feet film. He was spotted and again asked to leave.
Some of the students think it’s harmless to videotape feet. Then again, he has only started with the feet.
CJ March 31st, 2007
The world’s tallest man in Beijing, has married a woman who is more than 2 feet shorter than him.
Bao’s 28-year-old bride is half his age and hailed from his hometown of Chifeng even though marriage advertisements were sent around the world, and after a long effort and search, it has paid off!
Way to go, stretch! You deserve that after saving those sick dolphins!
CJ March 24th, 2007
A couple in Rhode Island decided it was time to teach their daughter the ways of the birds and the bees.
Now we all know how important sex education is, and how knowledge is key in preventing problems down the road. Of course, that’s assuming you don’t teach the children in a manner that the mother of a 9 year old daughter did.
Rebecca Arnold, 37, and her boyfriend, David Prata, 33, thought it was a good practice to teach their 9 year old daughter sexual practices by having sex in front of her. The courts asked them to plead guilty and accept the probation in order to spare the child the pain of a trial.
Oh Sure! Watching your mom and her beau do it in front of you wasn’t painful enough! I think the mother should have her own sexual education…how NOT to have sex in front of your daughter! ACK!
CJ March 24th, 2007
Some people are just plain lonely. It doesn’t take much to find love in all the wrong places.
A 20 year old man now resides at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth, Minnesota for having sexual contact with a dead deer. Apparantly, this isn’t the first time he has sought animal lust.
“The type of behavior is disturbing,” Judge Michael Lucci said. “It’s disturbing to the public. It’s disturbing to the court.”
Back in 2005, the suspect purposely killed a horse with the full intent of having sexual relations with it.
It’s pretty bad when you can’t even make it with a live animal. Such a pity.
CJ March 24th, 2007
In an attempt to break into a house, a burglar in Germany used a credit card to slip the lock. Unfortunately, it was his credit card, and during the effort, he snapped it in two, leaving the part with his name and partial credit card number … in the house.
From this information, the police were able to identify and capture the would-be burglar.
Wouldn’t have just been easier to buy a television set with his credit card rather than breaking into a house to steal one?
CJ March 15th, 2007
In Russia, a woman, tired of sharing her tiny apartment with her 17 year old son, decided to take matters into her own hands. She him shot.
She paid a convicted criminal $80 (2100 rouble) to kill her son so she could finally have the place all to herself and her boyfriend. She apparantly became fed up with the living arrangements when her son’s girlfriend became pregnant.
I know there is a housing shortage is bad in Russia, but sheesh! I think she needs to be on Jerry Springer!
CJ March 15th, 2007
This was the excuse a man in Billings Montana chose to use when he crashed his truck into a light post. He stated that a unicorn was driving, and that he wasn’t responsible for the damages.
Not only did the “unicorn” take out a light post, he also nearly took out a gas station and another truck!
The man was arrested for drunk driving and criminal endangerment - this to be added to his past five drunk driving arrests.
No word on the charges brought against the unicorn.
CJ March 14th, 2007
Liu Shuping, a farmer specializing in 
raising pigs, presents a newly-born
piglet with one head, two mouths,
two noses and three eyes. Experts attributed it’s condition to genetic variation.
The pig now resides in Northwest China. What’s up with all the freaky animals?
CJ March 8th, 2007
A real life “JackAss” decided to play one of his favorite stunts from the forementioned movie, JackAss.
Jared Anderson of Wisconsin thought it would be cool to play with fire near his genitals when the stunt went terribly wrong. His friend Randall decided to spray lighter fluid all over Jared and lit the fluid on fire.
Randall now faces felony charges, while Jared is cooling his, er, damaged goods at the hospital - second degree burns.
Of course they were both drunk, and Randall claims Anderson volunteered to do the stunt.
Now, there IS a reason to have the disclaimers at the beginning of stupid stunt shows like JackAss! Does anyone read and adhere to it? noooooo
