Archive for the 'Animals' Category
Old Dogs Home
CJ June 17th, 2007
In Tokyo, a new nursing home for elderly dogs is available to those who cannot spend the time needed for round the clock care of their ailing, elderly pups.
Owners will pay the equivelent of $800 a month to have veterinarians and residents administer care and medical attention. With the increase in better health care and balanced diets for pets, the rate of elderly dogs has increased dramatically.
Hey, it’s not fair! I want to be pampered and have a pretty coat too!
Tons of Guano - Free!
CJ May 6th, 2007
Bats in the attic can be commonplace, and this New York couple in Ballston Spa didn’t think much about it. Until they took a good look into their attic.
After reporting the incident to animal control, they were asked to wait since the babies were too young to fly. So they waited until January when a foul odor was so overwhelming, they investigated further.
What they discovered was a ton and a half of bat droppings (guano) inside their attic! It cost $25,000 to clean up the 3500 pounds of guano and to top it off, their insurance company won’t cover the cost.
Hey, why not sell it as an alternative fuel? If you can get past the smell that is…
Sex, Dogs, and Rock ‘n Roll
CJ April 15th, 2007
A dog in Berlin Germany, apparantly bored waiting for his master in a truck, accidently 
turned on his radio and blasted out the neighborhood.
The radio was turned up so loud, police were contacted and arrived at the scene to find the dog inside the car with the loud radio. The police cut the power to the radio and, rather than pissing off the black Lab, left a note for the owner.
The owner, discovering the note, contacted the police to apologize for his dog’s taste in music. The man stated he never listened to loud music himself.
Deer John…
CJ March 24th, 2007
Some people are just plain lonely. It doesn’t take much to find love in all the wrong places.
A 20 year old man now resides at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth, Minnesota for having sexual contact with a dead deer. Apparantly, this isn’t the first time he has sought animal lust.
“The type of behavior is disturbing,” Judge Michael Lucci said. “It’s disturbing to the public. It’s disturbing to the court.”
Back in 2005, the suspect purposely killed a horse with the full intent of having sexual relations with it.
It’s pretty bad when you can’t even make it with a live animal. Such a pity.
Two Sides of Ham, Please!
CJ March 14th, 2007
Liu Shuping, a farmer specializing in 
raising pigs, presents a newly-born
piglet with one head, two mouths,
two noses and three eyes. Experts attributed it’s condition to genetic variation.
The pig now resides in Northwest China. What’s up with all the freaky animals?
Tastes Like Chicken!
CJ March 8th, 2007
It was just a matter of time, but the other white meat has prevailed as the favorite among beef. Or calf in this case.
In India, the villagers of Chandpur watched in horror as a calf would approach the hen coop and devour chickes in a matter of minutes. A local vet believes that though this is rare, it does happen, usually because the animal is not getting sufficient minerals in its diet.
The calf, named Lal, has become somewhat of a sensation, and villagers have been flocking to see the chicken-eating calf tend to its daily meals.
Guards have been placed around the hen coop to ensure there are no midnight snacks for the calf, and he is now feeding upon the grass as he should be. Some of the villagers believe the calf was once a tiger in his past life.
I think PETA and all the vegans should get together and protest the calf.
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