Archive for the 'Animals' Category
Man Bites Dog
CJ February 7th, 2007
In New Zealand, a couple of would-be robbers were cornered by police and a police dog. One was smart enough to run into the police officers’ hands, the other decided to fight back and pulled out a knife.
That’s when the police sent in Edge, their police dog, to take the suspect down. Not wanting to be bitten first, the suspect chomped down onto the dog before the dog had a chance to drop him.
Edge was not put off by the suspect and sunk his own teeth in. The suspect went down and was taken to the hospital with lacerations.
I heard that dog meat was a delicacy, but sheesh!
Hair Treatment is Bull
CJ February 3rd, 2007
Owner Hari Salem told media that he tried hundreds of products, including wild avocados 
and truffle oil, before hitting on bull semen as the elusive element.
Hari owns a salon in London where he offers a 45 minute hair treatment that involves massaging protein-rich bull semen and plant roots into the client’s hair. The stylists claim the semen is kept refrigerated and has no smell, leaving the client’s hair soft and thick. (somehow soft and thick gives a really bad visual here!)
Hari only uses top bred bulls and will continue this treatment as long as the bulls can keep the supply going.
I hope the clients don’t freak everytime they see a red cloth in front of them! (ick)
Hungry Python Eats 11 Dogs
CJ January 28th, 2007
In Kuala Lumpur, a 23 foot python found the motherlode when it came on s fruit orchard guarded by dogs. The python proceeded to devour 11 dogs before it was finally captured.
The python was almost as wide as a tennis court and as thick as a tree branch! The villagers, surprisingly, turned the snake over to authorties rather than killing it.
Note for the future: Get bigger dogs!
Forget the House, Give Me My Rats!
CJ January 10th, 2007
After losing his home, a man in Petaluma, California, decided to purchase a boat to live on, along with his 37 rats and 6 cats. Not quite like his original home which had 1300 rats, the boat had the same “air” about it, since the smell of feces and urine permeated every square inch of his new home.
Now he faces animal cruelty charges once again. He sees nothing wrong with it, however, and feels he is being unneccessarily punished. As for the smell? “You get used to it.”
I guess watching Tom and Jerry cartoons wasn’t enough for him (eewww)
I Will NOT Eat Green Eggs and Ham!
CJ January 2nd, 2007
Ever have too much time on your hands? Ever wonder what it would be like to spawn green ham? Welp, it seems China has beat you too it!
The “Kraken” Lives!
CJ December 22nd, 2006
A giant squid was captured by some fisherman in Tokoy Japan.
The beast measured 11ft 
6in long and made some zoologists
very happy campers!
The legend of the Kraken is told by sailors in Norway during the 1800’s as to the explanation of damaged or sinking ships. Tails of giant squids attacking ships as well as other sea monsters may have been inspired by animals such as the one caught on Tokyo.
Who knows? Maybe we’ll get to see Nessie up close and personal soon!
A Side of Fries with My Dead Cat, Please
CJ December 22nd, 2006
Ick! Why someone would throw a dead cat into a McDonald’s drive through is beyond me. McDonald’s gets their cats fresh of the farm for cryin’ out loud!
Apparantly some rather rude kids decided to take a day old road kill and play a prank on the hapless drive-thru attendents in Cedar Rapids Iowa. And of all things, it was a black cat. On purpose?
I can have a sick sense of humor, but that is beyond sick. Come on, whatever happened to fun things like spraying someone with a water fire extinguisher?
Marriage Goes to the Dogs
CJ December 18th, 2006
Here is living proof that marriage is a sanctity, and that everyone should be doing it!
In New Delhi, 18 dogs, alone, without a partner, were paired up to be married off and celebrate in style with a reception, complete with dancing, music, and dog biscuits! Sounds fair to me, why not?
Not according to the People For Animals (PFA) who claim that forcing dogs to marry and dance is just plain cruel. What the hell? Cruel? They’re getting a lot of attention, what’s cruel about that?
Now why would someone want to ruin that? It sounds like fun! The dogs are spoiled, have a few drinks, a few howls. And get laid! Of course, they are the only ones that can call their new brides, bitches…
World’s Tallest Man - A Friend to Dolphins
CJ December 17th, 2006
There is something to be said about being the tallest in the world. Bao Xishun is 7′9″ tall, 
and a reach that the best basketball players would envy.
Granted his occupation is more inland as a herdsman, however, the manager of the Royal Jidi World aquarium decided to put Bao’s reach to the test. The dolphins kept at the aquarium had apparantly built up a taste for the plastic lining the rim of their tanks (mmmmmmm, plaaaastic), and chewed a hefty meal before it finally made them sick!
Because the dolphins were unable to digest the plastic, and the equipment to remove the vinyl lunch was inadequate, Bao’s reach was the perfect choice. How they thought of that is beyond me! The last thing I would think of is sticking my arm down a dolphins throat!
Bao was able to remove the bulk of the plastic, and the local doctor said the smaller bits should pass quickly and easily. Way to go Bao!
