Three Fries Short It’s a Strange World We Live In

Three French Fries Short of a Happy Meal - Carbon-Based Lifeforms are Strange

The world in which we live is made up of wacky, weird, and just plain odd beings called the human race. This site is a collection of stories and examples, of just how weird we all can be. How did the human race get this far?

"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
- Mark Twain -

Why people have sex: It feels good…DUH!

CJ August 12th, 2007

After exhaustively compiling a list of the 237 reasons why people have sex, researchers found that young men and women get intimate for mostly the same motivations. It’s more about lust in the body than a love connection in the heart.

College-aged men and women agree on their top reasons for having sex — they were attracted to the person, they wanted to experience physical pleasure and “it feels good,” according to a peer-reviewed study in the August edition of Archives of Sexual Behavior. Twenty of the top 25 reasons given for having sex were the same for men and women.

Expressing love and showing affection were in the top 10 for both men and women, but they did take a back seat to the clear No. 1: “I was attracted to the person.”

Researchers at the University of Texas spent five years and their own money to study the overlooked why behind sex while others were spending their time on the how.

“It’s refuted a lot of gender stereotypes … that men only want sex for the physical pleasure and women want love,” said University of Texas clinical psychology professor Cindy Meston, the study’s co-author. “That’s not what I came up with in my findings.”

Forget thinking that men are from Mars and women from Venus, “the more we look, the more we find similarity,” said Dr. Irwin Goldstein, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego. Goldstein, who wasn’t part of Meston’s study, said the Texas research made a lot of sense and adds to growing evidence that the vaunted differences in the genders may only be among people with sexual problems.

Meston and colleague David Buss first questioned 444 men and women — ranging in age from 17 to 52 — to come up with a list of 237 distinct reasons people have sex. They ranged from “It’s fun” which men ranked fourth and women ranked eighth to “I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease” which ranked on the bottom by women.

Once they came up with that long list, Meston and Buss asked 1,549 college students taking psychology classes to rank the reasons on a one-to-five scale on how they applied to their experiences.

“None of the gender differences are all that great,” Meston said. “Men were more likely to be opportunistic towards having sex, so if sex were there and available they would jump on it, somewhat more so than women. Women were more likely to have sex because they felt they needed to please their partner.”

But this is among college students, when Meston conceded “hormones run rampant.” She predicted huge differences when older groups of people are studied.

Since her study came out Tuesday, people are coming up with new reasons to have sex.

“Originally, I thought that we exhaustively compiled the list, but now I found that there should be some added,” Meston said.

Plane returns after drunken brawl

CJ July 19th, 2007

Courtesy of Yahoo! 

Three young Russians boarded the plane drunk Thursday and “continued their party on board.”

“One of them took a fancy to a girl but she did not want to socialize with the new admirer,” police said.

On rejection, the passenger slapped the woman on her face several times. Another passenger immediately rose to defend her.

“A fight began, the situation started to get out of hand and the crew made the only right decision — to turn back.”

The three drunk men were detained on landing at /a St Petersburg airport. They faced fines of “dozens of thousands of dollars,” police said.

The woman received medical treatment at the airport and the plane resumed its flight to Turkey.

Some people are just desperate to be part of the Mile High Club!

Dog Vader

CJ July 19th, 2007

Luuuuke….you are my puppy!

Internet Takes Over for Proper Child Care

CJ July 19th, 2007

Once again, the internet is blamed for people’s actions, or in this case, inactions.

A couple in Reno Nevada were so into the internet and playing video games, they couldn’t be bothered to take care of their two children, who suffered from malnutrition, dehydration, infections, and inadequate muscle development. Michael and Iana Straw pled guilty to child neglect and will most likely spend 12 years in jail and never see these children again. Both toddlers are in foster care, have gained weight and are doing well.

Patrick Killen, spokesman for Nevada Child Abuse Prevention, said video game addiction’s correlation to child abuse is “a new spin on an old problem.”

“As we become more technologically advanced, there’s more distractions,” Killen said. “It’s easy for someone to get addicted to something and neglect their children. Whether it’s video games or meth, it’s a serious issue, and (we) need to become more aware of it.”

Sure. This what we teach our children. Blame your irresponsibility on inanimate objects or other people in order to take the blame off of yourself and not own up to your shit.
 
Last month, experts at an American Medical Association meeting backed away from a proposal to designate video game addiction as a mental disorder, saying it had to be studied further. Some said the issue is like alcoholism, while others said there was no concrete evidence it’s a psychological disease.

Once again, we may be able to have a “disease” to blame for our ills. Don’t we have enough?

I think as the parents’ punishment, they should have to sit in a room full of children playing video games or surfing the ‘net and not be able to eat or go to the bathroom for at least two weeks!!!

A Burgler Has Some Wine with the Family

CJ July 15th, 2007

Courtesty of Yahoo! 

WASHINGTON - Police on Capitol Hill are baffled by an attempted robbery that began with a handgun put to the head of a teenager and ended in a group hug.

It started about midnight on June 16 when a group of friends was finishing a dinner of marinated steaks and jumbo shrimp on the back patio of a District of Columbia home. That’s when a hooded man slid through an open gate and pointed a handgun at the head of a 14-year-old girl.

“Give me your money, or I’ll start shooting,” he said, according to D.C. police and witnesses.

Everyone froze, including the girl’s parents. Then one guest spoke.

“We were just finishing dinner,” Cristina “Cha Cha” Rowan, 43, told the man. “Why don’t you have a glass of wine with us?”

The intruder had a sip of their Chateau Malescot St-Exupery and said, “Damn, that’s good wine.”

The girl’s father, Michael Rabdau, 51, told the intruder to take the whole glass, and Rowan offered him the whole bottle.

The robber, with his hood down, took another sip and a bite of Camembert cheese. He put the gun in his sweatpants.

The story then turns even more bizarre.

“I think I may have come to the wrong house,” he said before apologizing. “Can I get a hug?”

Rowan, who works at her children’s school and lives in Falls Church, Va., stood up and wrapped her arms around the armed man. The four other guests followed.

“Can we have a group hug?” the man asked. The five adults complied.

The man walked away a few moments later with the crystal wine glass in hand. Nothing was stolen, and no one was hurt.

Once he was gone, the group walked into the house, locked the door and stared at each other — speechless. Rabdau called 911, and police came to take a report and dust for fingerprints.

Police classified the case as strange but true. Investigators have not located a suspect. The witnesses thought he might have been high on drugs.

“We’ve had robbers that apologize and stuff but nothing where they sit down and drink wine. It definitely is strange,” said Cmdr. Diane Groomes, adding that the hugs were especially unusual. “The only good thing is they would be able to identify him because they hugged him.”

When Nude in Rome…

CJ June 28th, 2007

A man, decidedly dirty and hot, utilized a public fountian to take a nice cool bath - naked of course.

A crowd of tourists admiring the historic 17th century Baroque fountain were surprised to see a man strip and wade into the fountain in the middle of the day. He now faces criminal charges.

The fountain is at the base of Rome’s Spanish Steps and seems to be a draw for troublemakers. Two weeks prior to the naked swimmer, another man was arrested for driving his car down the steps.

I gotta get out more…one more reason to visit Europe. sheesh!

Here’s Yer Sign

CJ June 28th, 2007

A mother in Tennessee, fed up with her daughters antics and bad behavior, has forced her to stand on a street corner holding a sign that states, “I don’t obey my parents, I’m a liar. I steal from my mom. I have a bad attitude.” This all stemmed from an incident from Sunday morning.
Tashara said having to wear her offenses was eye-opening.

“It might even work,” she said. “I’m gonna start (behaving better) because I don’t want to be standing out here with everybody looking at me like I’m crazy with this sign.”

Sure this might work…as long as her sign matches her shoes!

Old Dogs Home

CJ June 17th, 2007

In Tokyo, a new nursing home for elderly dogs is available to those who cannot spend the time needed for round the clock care of their ailing, elderly pups.

Owners will pay the equivelent of $800 a month to have veterinarians and residents administer care and medical attention. With the increase in better health care and balanced diets for pets, the rate of elderly dogs has increased dramatically.

Hey, it’s not fair! I want to be pampered and have a pretty coat too!

Lend a Hand…or Else!

CJ June 17th, 2007

Always remember to loan an old man money if he asks- especially if it’s Richard Johnson of Davenport Iowa!

Apparantly, Mr. Johnson asked his 81 year old neighbor for a loan so he could go and gamble and she refused - since she had already loaned him some money previously. He didn’t take kindly to that response and promptly beat her with a hammer!

The maintenance supervisor, Fuller, heard the commotion and calmed down the elderly man and called the police. Fuller said that as they waited for help, Johnson told him: “I’m old. What are they going to do, lock me up?”

The neighbor was treated for injuries and released.

I don’t know about you, but if an old man from a mental home asks me for money, I am going to run!

Stressed in Spain? Smash a Room!

CJ June 17th, 2007

This rocks! A Spanish hotel chain is running a competition where stressed execs can smash hotel rooms to let off some steam - and act like a rock star!

The hotel is allowing 30 people to be armed with a mallet and a hard hat and can destroy any part of the 146 room building as it is being prepped for refurbishment. The destruction shall commence on July 3rd.

I think ALL hotels going under re-modeling should do this!

Saggy Britches

CJ June 17th, 2007

In Delcambre Louisiana, the mayor Carol Broussard has decided it’s not ok to wear saggy, baggy pants. The idea behind this is that when worn, more often than not, people can see your underwear or other “parts” that is considered a violation of un-dress code.
Broussard’s advice for people who like their pants to hang low: “Just wear it properly. Cover your vital parts. I mean, if you expose your private parts, you’ll get a fine. If you walk up and your pants drop, you get a fine. They’re better off taking the pants off and just wearing a dress.”

The fine is currently listed at $500.

It should be more, I mean after all, what if the boxers that are exposed has skid marks - who wants to see that?

Drunk Victim

CJ June 3rd, 2007

This is why you don’t get falling down drunk in front of your friends!

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